Sneak Preview
by Mistyrious Charades
Summary: Bella: "Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You’re not taking him to a strip club are you?" ... Or is he? Rated M for suggestive chapters. Please read & review!


Sneak Preview

By Mistyrious_Charades

_Disclaimer: __SM owns all._

_Summary: __Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club are you?_

**A/N**: Of all the quotes on Stephenie's site this was one of my more favorites. It's been strictly rated this way purposely for later content.

**N/B**: I have not, repeat, have _not_ given up on _My Name Is Cynthia._ I was re-reading the Breaking Dawn quotes on SM's website and this idea stuck and I had to get it out of my brain. Sorry. Hopefully you'll forgive me for placing my other story on the backburner if only momentarily...

Enjoy and review!

Chapter One

_A/N: I created this before Breaking Dawn was released therefore instead of Bella being in her room and asking the 'strip club' question, she is at the Cullen's House._

_Jasper Hale_

"Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club are you?"

I could hardly contain my laughter when she asked the question - and I didn't. Bella blushed in response to my reaction but I kept my calm and closed my eyes to avoid seeing the sudden rush of blood to her face. "It's not specifically what we do," I answered, a more serious edge to the sound of my voice, "but I think Emmett is organizing something to that effect."

Alice was standing right beside me, "Way to shove the blame onto your brother Jazz!" she whispered sarcastically into my ear.

"I'm sorry," I whispered back, "But it's too funny to tell a lie right now."

Poor Emmett. He had it coming. Bella's face was entirely readable when he walked into the room. He averted his gaze to myself and Alice but we were purposely avoiding him so he had no one to look at but Bella and let's just say, if looks could kill, Emmett would be dead - for real this time.

"Aw shucks Bella, what did I do? Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Oh I'll tell you why! Jasper's just informed me about what _you_ plan to organize for Edward's bachelor party! You just better hope that Edward _changes_ his mind and doesn't make me one of you because there's going to be a lot of me and my newborn wrestling skills to deal with when I get my revenge."

It was more difficult for Emmett to suppress his laughter than I, but he was doing a much better job. "Listen Bells, Edward isn't into that stuff anyway. It's all just a good natured joke. After eighty years he's still stuck as a teenager and he still hasn't had any of that traditional fun yet. You know he's not going to do anything stupid. Just let him enjoy himself."

I could tell Bella still wasn't very happy with the situation but I did nothing to manipulate her emotions; I felt we needed her honest permission if we were to proceed with our arranged preparations for our brother.

Bella didn't say anything straight away. She walked over to Alice instead and held her hand. "Let everyone in this room stand witness," she told her, "that I give you free reign on my Hen's night. All I ask is that you make it one hell of a good time sis." She suddenly then looked very queasy, "Man I'm going to regret saying that later, I know it..."

Alice smiled mouthing a silent thank you to Emmett. They proceeded to walk out of the room hand in hand, when Bella suddenly stopped to turn around and face my brother, a giant grin spread across her face. "Just one more thing Emmett," she smiled, "In future, I will be savoring every last drop of irritable grizzly right in front of your face. No bear for you! Remember that." Alice and Bella left the room.

He winked as he whispered to me, "A small price. C'mon Jazz, we got some preparing to do - I was thinking Vegas."

I raised an eyebrow, "Nice plan Em, except you're forgetting one tiny glitch – how the hell are we going to get Edward to agree to this? Bella's feelings aside, you're right, Edward's not really into this stuff."

"We'll find a way to convince him."

"_We_?"

"Oh c'mon, it couldn't be that hard. Bella's just given permission for Alice to order naked men for her so I can't see why Edward should be exempt from some pre-marital glory."

"Edward or you?" I mumbled incoherently but he heard me anyway and smiled.

--

That night I was habitually watching the evening news with Carlisle when Edward joined us, surprisingly alone.

"Jasper, I was wondering if I could have a word."

I nodded; Alice or not, I couldn't pretend I hadn't seen this coming. I followed Edward to the outside of our front porch. I didn't say anything even though I knew exactly what he wanted to talk about. Edward wasn't an idiot.

"Well?" he demanded.

I shrugged, "Be specific and I'll help you."

"Okay then," he said pretending to rack his brains for an answer, "Why does Bella think you're taking me to a strip club?"

"Woah hold back! I'm not taking you to any strip club!"

He sighed with relief, "That's what I thought."

"EmmettandI - are taking you to Vegas."

Edward stared at me waiting for me to spring on the part where I would tell him it was all a joke but I just smiled and nodded.

"Sorry," he finally said, "Not interested. Although, you and Emmett can go enjoy yourselves basking in the unsatisfactory glory of women whom, have already been with other men, and contracted God-knows-what."

He turned to leave but I caught up with him before he could turn the handle on the door. "Look Edward, this is all in good traditional fun – Bella's agreed to do the same thing anyway, how bad could it be?"

That slowed him down, "Don't insult my fiancée. Bella would _never_ agree to offend herself in that way."

"Really?" I asked sarcastically, "Because she was practically begging for Alice to order her some naked men." Oh no. I was spending too much time with Emmett...

Edward snarled a mean growl - let's just say I made the wrong move. I raised my eyebrows, "All I'm saying is that is that if she's considered it you should too. And I'm not insulting her by admitting that."

"I will speak with Bella," Edward concluded finally, but I'm not agreeing to go anywhere with you or Emmett without her permission."

_Emmett Cullen_

The three of us were all on a plane to Las Vegas the very next evening.

Of the three of us brothers, I was clearly enjoying myself the most. "Babes, boobs and Rosalie's out with the girls! How much better can this get?"

I smiled and Jasper joined me. I had caught Alice teasing him before, promising how much he would enjoy himself. I laughed at the thought. I wondered if my littlest sister had seen his future - and enjoyed it anyway.

Only too-much-of-a-virgin Edward was _not_ enjoying himself. I had gone to all this trouble in organizing our huge Cullen extravaganza and he kept grunting about how Bella was the only girl who was meant for him and how he was not going to dishonor their relationship by whacking off to some random.

Well I got that. But that didn't mean he couldn't have fun.

I kept trying to show him all the _Playboy_ magazines I had been stashing over the years but he remained too much of an abstinent dork. Jasper joined in with me on the free oggling though which made up for Edward's lack of enthusiasm. The dude was my brother but he seriously needed to get laid. I quickly spied at his jeans and not even Eddie Jr. was having any sort of fun.

"There's nothing to do on this wretched plane!" Edward complained, "We're travelling by First Class - where are the in-flight movies?"

I shrugged, "Wanna see some porn?"

He snarled, "No I don't, I really don't."

I laughed, "But it's your bachelor party! And trust me man, I'm only going to throw you one. I might throw Jasper another if he decides to marry Alice again and you can come to that if you want but" -

"Emmett!" Edward interrupted, "When we get to Vegas I am _staying_ in the hotel. I will not be going anywhere. I will not be reading any _Playboy_ or watching any porn. I will be" -

"Picturing Bella naked? Whacking off to the image of her naked body?"

That did it. Edward was so angry he ripped apart his seatbelt. "If we weren't on plane with humans Emmett, I would have cut off your balls by now and flushed them out of the toilet."

"Oh-kay!" I shrugged. "You do know that Bella is _not_ at a sleepover eating popcorn and watching _John Tucker Must Die_, don't you?"

He didn't respond. He shoved his earphones on and started watching _Seven Pounds_.

_Fine, _I thought. _The things I do for him_. _He'll be thanking me come his honeymoon. I'm going teach this guy everything I know. Just wait until he finds out about the sneak preview show I booked for him. _

Oh yeah, he'll definitely be thanking me then...


End file.
